Jake and Mary Jacobs celebrated 70 years of married bliss last year, but they had to face many challenges to get to this point in their marriage.
In 1940s Britain, Mary, a White woman, met Jake, a Black man, and although though they lived in a city, Jake was one of very few Black males.
Mary could have easily left, but she had fallen in love and would stop at nothing to be with her partner—even if her father ordered her to.
“My father told me that if I married Jake, I would never set foot in this house again,” when I told him I was getting married to Jake.
The pair first connected at the technical college where Mary was taking typing and shorthand classes and Jake was undergoing Air Force training. Jake had come across from Trinidad during the war.
Jake struck up a conversation with Mary, who was then living in Lancashire, and she was impressed by his Shakespearean knowledge.
After he and his companion invited Mary and her friend for a picnic, a woman riding by noticed them and reported Mary to her father. She was appalled to see two English girls talking with black males. Mary’s father forbade her from ever meeting him again after being shocked.
They corresponded when Jake got back to Trinidad, and a few years later, he went back to the UK in search of higher-paying employment.
Jake surprised Mary by asking her to marry him; she was 19 years old and accepted but when she told her family they threw her out.
“I left with only one small suitcase to my name. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.”
Mary said while her father was ‘horrified’ that she could contemplate marrying a black man she didn’t realize that the rest of society felt the same way.
“The first years of our marriage living in Birmingham were hell — I cried every day, and barely ate. No one would speak to us, we couldn’t find anywhere to live because no one would rent to a black man, and we had no money.”
Even walking down the street together was difficult as people would point at them, Mary told the Daily Mail.
Mary fell pregnant and the couple enjoyed the excitement of knowing they would soon become parents but at 8 months she gave birth to a stillborn child.
“It wasn’t related to the stress I was under but it broke my heart, and we never had any more children,” she said.
Their lives did get easier with Mary working as a teacher and rising to assistant principle of a British school and Jake securing a job with the Post Office. They made new friends but Mary said she felt the need to explain to people that her husband was black before she introduced them to him.
“My father died when I was 30 and although we were reconciled by then, he never did approve of Jake,” she said.
Today 84-year-old Mary and Jake who is 89 years old live in the town of Solihull just south of Birmingham and recently celebrated 70 years of marriage.
Jake says he has no regrets but tells young black people today they have no idea what it used to be like for him in 1940s Britain
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‘Subjected to abuse every day’
“When I arrived in the U.K. I was subjected to abuse every day. Once I was on a bus and a man rubbed his hands on my neck and said: ‘I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.
“And back then you couldn’t work in an office — because a black man in an office with all the white girls wasn’t thought to be safe.”
Despite all the hardships, prejudice and abuse the couple are still very much in love and have no regrets about marrying, enjoying over 70 years of wedded bliss.
The love these two have for each other really has conquered all; they are a true inspiration and I wish them many more years of happiness.
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